Misunderstanding (18sx)

U definitely will have a good laugh if u can understand hokkien....

Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently .....

Apek:Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?

Ali: Manyak bagus. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...

Apek: err ... saya kawan ala cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..

Ali: Apa problem?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aah... dia punya performance tadak bagut... manyak cinang semputloh ...

Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa cerita... saya suda lama potong. tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo...

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap main woo.. lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: err.... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??

Ali: woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha ... saya punya 6 inci laa..

Apek: Tiu nia ma... lu jangan main2 haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..

Ali: Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers).

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik2 ... lu tunjuk lupunya lanchiau..

Ali: Abis... lu tada percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tadak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau... Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka.. bolo punya olang..


Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susa saja.. Bukan potong zaka la..... Proton Saga........lah

Whos Your Daddy??

A father puts his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying

"God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.



The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this:

"God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."


The next day the grandmother died.


Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,

"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock.



He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.


When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened HERE.


He asked "What"??????















She said "This morning ... our neighbour James died."

Correct Timing to Drink Water

Correct timing to take water, will maximize its effectiveness to Human body.

Two (02) glass of water - After waking up - Helps activate internal organs One (01) glasses of water - 30 minutes before meal - Help digestion One (01) glass of water - Before taking a bath - Helps lower blood pressure One (01) glass of water - Before sleep - To avoid stroke or heart attack

5 Powerful Reasons to Eat Slower

One of the problems in our daily lives is that many of us rush through the day, with no time for anything … and when we have time to get a bite to eat, we gobble it down. That leads to stressful, unhealthy living. And with the simple but powerful act of eating slower, we can begin to reverse that lifestyle immediately. How hard is it? You take smaller bites, you chew each bite slower and longer, and you enjoy your meal longer. It takes a few minutes extra each meal, and yet it can have profound effects. You may have already heard of the Slow Food Movement, started in Italy almost two decades ago to counter the fast food movement. Everything that fast food is, Slow Food isn’t. If you read the Slow Food Manifesto, you’ll see that it’s not just about health — it’s about a lifestyle. And whether you want to adopt that lifestyle or not, there are some reasons you should consider the simple act of eating slower:

1. Lose weight. A growing number of studies confirm that just by eating slower, you’ll consume fewer calories — in fact, enough to lose 20 pounds a year without doing anything different or eating anything different. The reason is that it takes about 20 minutes for our brains to register that we’re full. If we eat fast, we can continue eating past the point where we’re full. If we eat slowly, we have time to realize we’re full, and stop on time. Now, I would still recommend that you eat healthier foods, but if you’re looking to lose weight, eating slowly should be a part of your new lifestyle.
2. Enjoy your food. This reason is just as powerful, in my opinion. It’s hard to enjoy your food if it goes by too quickly. In fact, I think it’s fine to eat sinful foods, if you eat a small amount slowly. Think about it: you want to eat sinful foods (desserts, fried foods, pizza, etc.) because they taste good. But if you eat them fast, what’s the point? If you eat them slowly, you can get the same amount of great taste, but with less going into your stomach. That’s math that works for me. And that argument aside, I think you are just happier by tasting great food and enjoying it fully, by eating slowly. Make your meals a gastronomic pleasure, not a thing you do rushed, between stressful events.
3. Better digestion. If you eat slower, you’ll chew your food better, which leads to better digestion. Digestion actually starts in the mouth, so the more work you do up there, the less you’ll have to do in your stomach. This can help lead to fewer digestive problems.
4. Less stress. Eating slowly, and paying attention to our eating, can be a great form of mindfulness exercise. Be in the moment, rather than rushing through a meal thinking about what you need to do next. When you eat, you should eat. This kind of mindfulness, I believe, will lead to a less stressful life, and long-term happiness. Give it a try.
5. Rebel against fast food and fast life. Our hectic, fast-paced, stressful, chaotic lives — the Fast Life — leads to eating Fast Food, and eating it quickly. This is a lifestyle that is dehumanizing us, making us unhealthy, stressed out, and unhappy. We rush through our day, doing one mindless task after another, without taking the time to live life, to enjoy life, to relate to each other, to be human. That’s not a good thing in my book. Instead, rebel against that entire lifestyle and philosophy … with the small act of eating slower. Don’t eat Fast Food. Eat at a good restaurant, or better yet, cook your own food and enjoy it fully. Taste life itself.

15 RAHSIA SENYUM & TAWA

15 RAHSIA SENYUM & TAWA

(PENAWAR PENYAKIT)

Mampukah anda senyum atau ketawa walaupun anda dalam kesedihan? Tentu sukar rasanya untuk berbuat demikian. Jika anda mampu sekalipun mungkin orang akan mengganggap anda 'tidak siuman'. Bersedih tentu
saja dibolehkan tetapi janganlah berterusan bersedih dan menangis sehingga memudaratkan kesihatan.

Cuba amati antara wajah orang yang sentiasa ceria dan wajah orang yang sentiasa murung dan perhatikan juga mereka yang sentiasa tersenyum dan mereka yang tak pernah senyum ataupun payah untuk senyum apalagi untuk ketawa. Tentu sekali anda dapat melihat perbezaan. Wajah mereka yang ceria, sering tersenyum dan ketawa tentu sekali kelihatan berseri-seri dan tidak keterlaluan jika dikatakan nampak muda dari usianya yang sebenar.


Ada sesetengah dari kita bernasib baik kerana dianugerahkan 'wajah senyum' yang mana kalau dia marah sekalipun masih kelihatan seperti tersenyum. Antara contoh artis bollywood yang berwajah senyum ialah
"Rani Mukherjee". Memang sukar mencari wajah begini dan jika anda mempunyai wajah sedemikian anda adalah satu dalam sejuta.

Cuba anda perhatikan orang yang dilanda masalah misalnya dan ditambah pula hidupnya tak pernah putusditimpa pelbagai masalah. Tentu sekali wajahnya kelihatan murung, berserabut dan nampak tua dari usia sebenar. Jika demikian tidak boleh kah kita bersedih dan menangis? Tentu sekali boleh tetapi perlu ada tempohnya. Kala bersedih menangislah sepuas hati dan bersedihlah semahunya. Mungkin seminggu, dua minggu atau sebulan anda berada dalam keadaan demikian dan selepas itu anda perlu berbuat sesuatu bagi meneruskan hidup.

Seseorang yang dapat menerima dirinya sakit dan hidup sememangnya ada masalah lalu menerima keadaansedemikian dengan tenang dan masih mampu tersenyum sebenarnya mempunyai tindak balas lebih baik terhadap rawatan yang diberikan.

15 fakta menarik :

1. Para saintis mendapati senyum dan ketawa nerupakan satu senaman berbentuk jogging dalaman di mana dapat merangsang seluruh tubuh dan mampu memberi manfaat berguna kepada sistem saraf otak dan juga hormon-hormon.

2. Pengkaji dan pengamal barat percaya dengan memulakan hari dengan senyuman bukan sahaja berupayamenceriakan hidup anda tetapi memberi banyak kebaikan kepada kesihatan. Apabila kita tersenyum, badan turut 'tersenyum' dan menganggap kita gembira. Kajian menunjukkan senyuman memperlahankan aliran darah yang melalui sinus ke otak.

3. Apabila darah yang 'sudah sejuk' ini sampai ke hipotalamus (bahagian yang mengawal suhu badan dan emosi) ia menghasilkan kesan 'gembira'. Selain itu, apabila kita tersenyum, kita hanya menggunakan 17 otot
muka berbanding 43 ketika mengerutkan dahi.

4. Senyuman bukan sekadar reaksi gerak muka, tetapi turut mempunyai kaitan dengan penghasilan endorphin dalam otak yang mengurangkan kesakitan fizikal dan emosi menjadikan seseorang itu rasa lebih selesa dengan diri sendiri.

5. Kajian menunjukkan individu yang ketawa 100 kali dalam tempoh 24 jam mendapat manfaat kardiovaskular sama seperti bersenam 10 minit. Hal ini terjadi kerana apabila kita ketawa, tekanan darah dan kadar dengupan
jantung meningkat. Kemudian kedua-dua kadar ini akan turun iaitu lebih rendah daripada paras sebelum anda ketawa.

6. Anda juga perlu sedar bahawa kanak-kanak lebih banyak ketawa dari orang dewasa. Kanak-kanak berumur antara empat hingga enam tahun ketawa 400 kali sehari berbanding hanya 15 kali sehari di kalangan orang
dewasa. Jesteru tidak hairan jika orang dewasa lebih mudah diserang penyakit serta mengalami masalah tekanan dan kemurungan.

7. Kajian yang dibuat oleh sekumpulan saintis dari Universiti Pusat Perubatan California menjelaskan terdapat dua jenis 'stress' iaitu stress yang baik dan stress yang tidak baik. Senyum dan ketawa dikategorikan
sebagai stress yang baik. Stress yang tidak baik akan memberi tekanan kepada sistem ketahanan badan.

8. Dalam kajian di atas, dua kumpulan orang dewasa telah digunakan sebagai eksperimen. Kumpulan pertama dipertontonkan cerita-cerita lucu manakala kumpulan kedua diletakkan disebuah bilik tanpa berbuat apa-apa.
Sampel darah diambil 10 minit sebelum dan selepas kajian dibuat. Dari keputusan sampel darah tersebut, kumpulan pertama didapati peningkatan hormon semakin baik seperti hormon 'endorphins' dan hormon 'neurotransmitters' dan penurunan tahap hormon stress 'cortisol' dan 'adrenaline' .

9. Ketika kita ketawa, sel pembunuh tumor dan virus semulajadi dalam badan akan bertambah selaras dengan pertambahan Gamma-inteferon (protein melawan penyakit), sel T (yang penting untuk sistem pertahanan badan) dan sel B (yang menghasilkan antibodi melawan penyakit).

10. Senyuman juga mampu merendahkan tekanan darah, menambah kemasukan oksigen dalam darah dan ini secara tidak langsung merangsang proses penyembuhan. Banyak kajian terbukti bahawa tekanan emosi seperti
kemurungan, kemarahan atau keresahan mempunyai kaitan dengan sakit jantung.

11. Senyuman yang diakhiri dengan ketawa mengaktifkan kimia badan dan secara tidak langsung merendahkan risiko penyakit jantung, tekanan darah tinggi, strok, atritis dan ulser. Pusat Perubatan Universiti Maryland
menjalankan kajian ke atas 300 responden dan mendapati 40 peratus orang yang mengidap penyakit jantung kurang ketawa berbanding orang yang sihat.

12. Senyuman dan ketawa antara senaman yang baik kerana ia membabitkan diafragma, abdomen, sistem pernafasan, muka, kaki dan otot belakang badan. Ketawa 'mengurut' organ dalam abdomen dan menguatkan otot abdomen, merangsang kedua-dua belah otak dan meningkatkan keupayaan untuk belajar. Ia melegakan ketegangan otot dan tekanan psikologi; membuatkan otak lebih peka serta bersedia menerima maklumat baru.

13. Ketawa juga dikatakan mampu memperbaiki fungsi usus, sekali gus meningkatkan pencernaan dan penyerapan nutrient dalam badan. Ada juga yang percaya ketawa boleh membakar kalori seperti kita bersenam beberapa minit.

14. Selain memberi pelbagai kebaikan kepada tubuh, dalam ajaran Islam sendiri mengatakan senyum itu satu sedekah. Senyum mampu menjadi penawar pada penyakit rohani yang kronik. Senyum tidak perlu modal, cuma
sekelumit rasa ikhlas yang bisa memaniskan senyuman itu. Senyuman yang dilemparkan mampu menyerikan hari insan lain. Mungkin juga mampu menyejukkan hati yang sedang marah atau mampu juga untuk memulakan
sesebuah ikatan.

15. Pujangga menyebut :

" SENYUM ITU KELOPAK.

KETAWA ITU BUNGA YANG SEMPURNA KEMBANGNYA".

Jadi kengkawan jangan lupa untuk senyum, sekerat atau meleret tak kisah lah jangan senyum sinis dah lah tu tak baik tau dan kalau ketawa tu jangan keterlaluan plak cukup sekedar nya sahaja ok.

* Sumber - majalah MIDI edisi Mei 2006

13 PERKARA YANG KITA TIDAK PERASAN

KADANGKALA dalam kita mengharungi kehidupan seharian,ada beberapa perkara yang kita tidak perasan berlaku di sekeliling kita. Ada waktu nya kita cuma perasan apabila ia sudah tiada di mata. Sesuatu yang anda tidak perasan atau tidak terfikir langsung..

1. sekurang-kurangnya ada lima orang dalam dunia ini menyayangi anda dan sanggup mati kerana anda. Atau menyayangi anda dalam beberapa cara.

2. sebab utama seseorang membenci anda adalah kerana dia ingin menjadi seperti anda.

3. senyuman daripada anda boleh membawa kebahagiaan kepada seseorang, walaupun dia tidak menyukai anda.

4. setiap malam, ada seseorang mengingati anda sebelum dia tidur.

5. anda amat bermakna dalam hidup seseorang.

6. kalau bukan kerana anda seseorang itu tidak akan hidup bahagia.

7. anda seorang yang istimewa dan unik pada mata seseorang.

8. seseorang yang anda tidak ketahui menyayangi anda.

9. apabila anda membuat kesilapan yang sangat besar, ada hikmah di sebaliknya.

10. sekiranya anda merasakan anda dipinggirkan, fikirlah semula mungkin anda yang meminggirkan mereka.

11. apabila anda terfikir anda tidak mempunyai peluang untuk mendapatkan sesuatu yang anda ingini,mungkin anda tidak akan memperolehnya,tetapi sekiranya anda percaya pada diri sendiri lambat laun anda akan berjaya memilikinya.

12. jangan takut untuk meluahkan perasaan anda. Anda akan berasa senang bila seseorang mengetahuinya.

13. sekiranya anda mempunyai sahabat baik,ambillah masa untuk memberitahunya bahawa dia adalah yang terbaik.

Justeru itu,fikir-fikirkan. Walaupun sesekali kita hidup berseorang di dunia ini, ingatlah ada seseorang yang sedang menunggu, sedang memerhati,dan sedang menyayangi anda.

10 things guys wish girls knew

1 Calling you on the phone does not mean what you think it means.

"Please, tell me why a girl thinks calling her equals I want her to be my girlfriend," says Mikey. Blunt, but we like blunt. Mikey is in the majority when it comes to romancing the phone. Nearly every guy we talked to says he feels tons of pressure from girls when it comes to the telephone. "It's like calling a girl means I'm admitting I like her, but that's not what's up," explains Mikey. "It's more like I'm calling because I might like her. I hate calling because the next day the girl acts like she owns me. Or, if she's shy, suddenly she can barely talk to me because she's scared. It's stupid."

2 You are much prettier without all that makeup.

Judging from our survey, boys can't stand makeup. In fact, it seems they can't complain about it enough. Sure, they all like pretty girls, but they also have a problem with a face that looks full-on painted. And what looks painted to a guy is far less than what you might think.

3 When you act spazzy and giggly, ifs seriously embarrassing.

"What is up with girls hopping up and down when they're happy about something?" asks Pete. "A girl definitely invented the word 'yay!' because no guy I know has ever used it." Are you guilty of doing the Gily Woo-hoo! dance? It's a combo of baby claps and bobbing on your toes while emitting high-pitched squeals of delight. This all in reaction to, say, seeing the slide projector set up upon entering French class.

4 Gossiping, whispering and writing notes makes y on look beyond shallow.

"Girls are always passing notes around in class, and it's just so friggin' dumb," says Joey. "Or they'll look right at me, then whisper to each other and laugh. Do they want me to think they're talking about me? 'Cause I do. And if it's really true and they are talking about me, then that's just lame."

5 Boys worry about what you think of their hair, skin, weight and clothes.

"My best friend is a girl, and the other day she said my hair looks exactly the same every single day," says Luis. "I couldn't believe it because some days my hair is jacked up." For the record, Luis is a cutie with great hair.

6 PMS is no excuse to he mean.

"I know girls get weird at 'that time of the month,' but I don't get why they have to act like I'm their worst enemy," confides Sean. "Sometimes, my sister acts like she wishes I were dead because I won't give her the remote control, but all that's going on is she's PMSing. Screaming at me and freaking out on me isn't right."

7 Talking about your "big" butt is so boring.

"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's when a girl asks me if she looks fat," says Stephen. "For one thing, I don't know if you're fat. For another thing, shut up." Ooh, Stephen is feisty, but a lot of the boys echo his sentiment.

8 Tight clothes look uncomfortable, cheap, and sort of desperate and insecure.

"My sister complains that boys always stare at her boobs, but she wears tight shirts that totally show off her boobs," says Chad. "I'm confused."

9 Most boys are looking for the right girl.

Daniel puts it so eloquently: "I would love to find a girl who's cool and doesn't act like such a girl." We're not sure what acting like a girl leans, but it could have something to do with much of what's been addressed right here in this article.

10 If you like him, just tell him.

There was one major statement that kept popping up on our surveys: "Girls should not flirt and act like they like me, and then later ignore me." Maybe the flirting thing is to girls what the phone is to boys: You're just flirting to feel him out, and it doesn't have to mean anything heavy. We get that.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0IBX/is_1_10/ai_106059247/pg_4/?tag=content;col1