Selamat Hari Raya..

Assalammualaikum!!!!!

Wahh sekejapnye raya kita berpuasa pejam celik dah nak dekat raya dah nie!!!!

Yihaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

oKehh!!!

Aku cume nak Wishh korang semua "Selamat hari raya Maaf zahir dan batin."

kalau balik kampung tue bawak kereta hati-hati

jangan rushing, pandu dengan selamat okeh!!!!

Silence of love.

Assalammualaikum,

hai.

good morning, saya nak share video nie untuk korang semua.

hurmm... kalau sapa yang belum tengok memang patut tengok.

sinopsis : kisah tentang sorang ayah yang pekak dan bisu.

then anak dia cam tak hargai ayah dia nie, unt

ill 1 day

anak dia cuba nak bunuh diri but dapat diselamatkan oleh

bapa yang pekak and bisu.

so touching

seriously hargailah ibu & bapa anda, coz harta benda, boyfriend, suami and etc boleh dicari

but ibu & bapa one and only. so we should give more respect to them.

ibu & bapa memang tak ada pengganti, kalau ganti ngan ibu or bapa tiri pon tak kan sama

macam ibu & bapa kandung.

And for a person like me yang tak ada ayah

rasa sedih and sadis sangat bile tengok orang yang

ada ayah tak hormat ayah diaorang, and hantar kat pusat asuhan orang tua,

1 orang ibu & bapa mampu untuk menjaga 10 orang anak,

tapi 10 orang anak kadang kala tak mampu untuk menjaga 1 orang ibu & bapa.

hargailah mereka semasa hayat mereka ada.

Dan pada yang telah kehilangan ibu & bapa ayuh kita sedekahkan mereka dengan doa2

semoga mereka ditempatkan dikalangan orang beriman.

Insya-Allah.

True Love.

There was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company , his future doesn't seemed too bright , they were very happy together . . Until one day , his girl told him she was going to overseas and will never come back . . She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then . . . heartbroken , the guy agreed . .

When he regained his confidence , he worked hard day and night , slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself . . Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends , this guy had set up his own company . . .

"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself . . "I must make it in life!"
One rainy day , while this guy was driving , he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination . . Even with the umbrella , they were still drenched . . It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents . . With a heart in getting back at them , he drove slowly beside the couple , wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan . . He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company , ca r, condo , etc . . He had made it in life !

Before the guy can realise , the couple was walking towards a cemetary ,and he got out of his car and followed them . . . and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone . . . and he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb . . Her parents saw him . . He walked over and asked them why this had happened . . They explained , she did not leave for France at all . .She was stricken ill with cancer . . In her heart , she had believed that he will make it someday , but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle . . . therefore she had chosen to leave him . .

She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her , because , if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him . . The guy just wept . . . the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again . .
The End

A tragic story that perhaps happens only in the movies . . At the end of the day , money is money is money but love is divine . . In our quest for our material wealth, take time to make time for our loved ones . . There will be a time when we have only memories to cling to . .
Take this weekend to show our "love" to all that are close to us . .

Real Womb.

Mom : Assalamualaikum my dear. How are you today?

Baby : Waalaikumussalam my dear mom.

I'm feeling good today mom.But there are something growing out from my body!!! (his arms & legs) what are these mom? I don't like it. It keeps getting in my way. I can't move as freely as I used to be before!

Mom : Owh that are your hands and your legs my darling. Alhamdulillah, you are growing as you should.

Baby : Can you make it go away mom? I don't need these hands and legs. They are of no use to me now.

Mom : You must not say that! Be grateful dear. You will need them when you are born. You will need it to walk on this earth. To be Allah's servant. You will be in such a great loss if you don't have them in the future.

End of conversation...

The baby doesn't know the difficulties that he is going to face on the earth if he doesn't have any hands or legs. Because he never used it in the womb. For him, his world is his mom's womb.

Can you see how similar we are and the baby? We have never ever encounter the life after death. We only know the world as the earth that we are living now. Just like an innocence baby. Our amal ma'ruf as our arms and legs in akhirah. We can live without them in this world right? But what about in akhirah? Can we leave without them? And we have been given so many reminders and guidances from Allah through His messenger and The Book, Quran. Who else can we trust if not our GOD, Allah? Think bout it...

Hot Fact!!!!

Assalammualaikum

hei... i wanna share some interesting facts for You' Oll's ^_^

A zebra is white with black stripes.

All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.

Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.

The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.

The word "listen " contains the same letters as the word "silent".

The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.

'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' is the fear of long words.

'Didaskaleinophobia' is the fear of going to school.

It is impossible to lick your elbow. ( We know you gonna try this !!! )

A snail can sleep for 3 years. ( wow, lucky chap he ? )

In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so much dust into the earth's atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.

55 per cent of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn. Reading about yawning makes most people yawn.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

Rats and horses can't vomit.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

If you keep your eyes open by force, they will pop out.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

A shrimp's heart is in their head.

People say "Bless you"(Yarhamakullah) when you sneeze because when you sneeze, you're heart stops for a mili-second.

In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so).

Iblis Bertanya Allah Menjawab

Anas bin Malik r.a. berkata: Iblis telah bertanya pada Allah, katanya : "Wahai Tuhanku! Engkau telah memberikan anak Adam tempat kediaman untuk mereka berteduh dan berzikir kepadaMu, oleh itu tunjukkanlah padaku tempat kediaman untukku."

Firman Allah: "Tempat kediamanmu adalah di dalam tandas."

Iblis bertanya lagi: "Wahai Tuhanku, Engkau telah berikan anak Adam berkumpul di masjid, di manakah pula tempatku berkumpul?"

Firman Allah: "Tempatmu berkumpul ialah di pasar-pasar, pesta, pusat membeli belah, kelab malam, tempat hiburan serta majlis-majlis maksiat."

Iblis bertanya: "Wahai Tuhanku, Engkau berikan anak Adam itu kitab (al-Quran) untuk mereka membacanya, tunjukkanlah apa pula bahan bacaanku?"

Firman Allah: "Bacaan untukmu ialah syair dan sajak yang melalaikan."

Iblis bertanya: "Wahai Tuhanku, Engkau telah berikan kepada mereka cerita-cerita benar, apakah pula cerita bagiku?"

Firman Allah: "Cerita bagimu ialah kata-kata kesat dan dusta."

Iblis bertanya:"Wahai Tuhanku, Engkau telah berikan azan kepada anak Adam untuk mereka memanggil orang sembahyang, apa pula azan untukku?"

Firman Allah: "Azan untukmu ialah seruling."

Iblis bertanya: "Wahai Tuhanku, Engkau telah menghantar utusan-Mu dari para rasul dan juga nabi, siapakah yang menjadi utusanku?"

Firman Allah : "Para utusan mu terdiri daripada bomoh, tabib dan dukun yang menduakan Aku."

Iblis Bertanya: "Wahai Tuhanku, Engkau berikan kitab suci al-Quran yang bertulis kepada mereka, apakah pula tulisan bagiku?"

Firman Allah: "Tulisanmu ialah tatu, gincu serta lukisan di badan."

Iblis bertanya:"Ya Tuhanku, Engkau berikan anak Adam perangkap, apakah pula perangkap bagiku?"

Firman Allah : "Perangkap bagimu ialah wanita."

Iblis bertanya: "Ya Tuhanku, Engkau berikan mereka minuman yang halal yang disebutkan nama-Mu, apakah pula minuman untukku?"

Firman Allah : "Minumanmu ialah sesuatu yang memabukkan serta tidak disebutkan nama-Ku padanya."


Sabda Rasulullah saw : " Wahai manusia, laksanakanlah amalan-amalan menurut kemampuan kamu. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan bosan sebelum kamu merasa bosan. Sesungguhnya amalan yang paling disukai Allah ialah amalan yang ringan namun berterusan."

(Hadis Riwayat Muslim)

❤Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak❤

Assalammualaikum wbt.

First of all thank you so much to everyone that support my blog.

wheter you'r blog walking or my freinds, relatives or "siapa-siapa je lah"

Okeh! now saya nak wish selamat berpuasa untuk semua orang yang beragama Islam.

i think im not to late for wishing u guys happy fasting =.="

Btw sorry dah lama tak update blog.

tak ada bahan best dalam hotak saya sekarang nie.

hopefully dapat idea best untuk dikongsi bersama ngan

korunk semua.

last but not less i love u all..

Wanita Lawa vs Wanita X Lawa

Kalau perempuan lawa pendiam
Lelaki akan cakap:: woow, ciri-ciri isteri idaman...
kalau perempuan tak lawa pendiam
Lelaki akan cakap: eh tak reti komunikasi betul...

kalau perempuan lawa berbuat jahat
Lelaki akan kata: musti ada krisis dalaman nih.kesian
kalau perempuan tak lawa berbuat jahat
Lelaki akan cakap: dah la tak lawa, perangai pulak huduh...

kalau perempuan lawa menolong Lelaki yg diganggu
Lelaki akan cakap: heroin sejati...!
kalau perempuan tak lawa menolong Lelaki yang diganggu
Lelaki akan kata: taktik nak ngorat le tu...

kalau perempuan lawa dapat Lelaki hensem
Lelaki akan kata: ok gak la....
kalau perempuan tak lawa dapat Lelaki hensem
Lelaki akan kata: kesian..mesti kena bomoh lelaki tuh!

kalau perempuan lawa ditinggal kekasih
Lelaki akan kata: buta kayu betul mamat tu....
kalau perempuan tak lawa ditinggal kekasih
Lelaki akan kata:...patut pun kena reject...

kalau perempuan lawa penyayang binatang
Lelaki akan cakap: perasaannya halus...penuh kasih sayang
kalau perempuan tak lawa penyayang binatang
Lelaki akan cakap: sesama keluarga memang harus menyayangi...

kalau perempuan lawa bawa BMW
Lelaki akan cakap: ntah dato' mana bela nih....
kalau perempuan tak lawa bawa BMW
Lelaki akan cakap: musti anak org kaya nih.....

kalau perempuan lawa tak mau bergambar
Lelaki akan cakap: pasti takut kalau2 gambarnya tersebar
kalau perempuan tak lawa tak mau bergambar
Lelaki akan kata: sedar pun diri...

kalau perempuan lawa menuang air ke gelas lelaki
Lelaki akan cakap: caring sungguh....
kalau perempuan tak lawa menuang air ke gelas lelaki
Lelaki akan cakap: nak tunjuk caring le tu....

kalau perempuan lawa bersedih hati
Lelaki akan cakap: dont worryi will make u happy forever
kalau perempuan tak lawa bersedih hati
Lelaki akan kata: sikit2 nak nangis!! mengada2...

kalau perempuan lawa masak
Lelaki akan kata: dah la lawa, pandai masak pulak tu...
kalau perempuan tak lawa masak
Lelaki akan cakap: ntah sedap ke tak????

kalau perempuan lawa main2 miss call
Lelaki akan kata: takpe...
kalau perempuan tak lawa main2 miss call
Lelaki akan cakap: ko ni takde keja lain ke... sibuk ni tau..

kalau perempuan lawa hantar2 email
Lelaki akan kata: sukenya....
kalau perempuan tak lawa hantar2 email
Lelaki akan cakap: balik2 email dia.boring

macam-macam..

Wanita Cantik yg suka Menangis

Seorang anak laki-laki kecil bertanya kepada ibunya "Mengapa engkau menangis?"

"Kerana aku seorang wanita", kata sang ibu kepadanya.

"Aku tidak mengerti", kata anak itu.

Ibunya hanya memeluknya dan berkata, "Dan kau tak akan pernah mengerti"

Kemudian anak laki-laki itu bertanya kepada ayahnya, "Mengapa ibu suka menangis tanpa alasan?"

"Semua wanita menangis tanpa alasan", hanya itu yang dapat dikatakan oleh ayahnya.

Anak laki-laki kecil itu pun lalu tumbuh menjadi seorang laki-laki dewasa, tetap ingin tahu mengapa wanita menangis.

Allah berfirman:"Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang wanita, ia diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang istimewa. Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk menopang dunia; namun, harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan ""Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang seringkali datang dari anak-anaknya ""Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan kelelahan tanpa mengeluh ""Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya ""Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya ""Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk mengetahui bahwa seorang suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang menguji kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada disisi suaminya tanpa ragu""Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk dititiskan.Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk digunakan bilapun ia perlukan.

""Kau tahu:Kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian yang dikenakannya, susuk yang ia tampilkan, atau bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya.""Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari matanya, kerana itulah pintu hatinya tempat dimana cinta itu ada."

Kesan Zikir Kepada Otak

Otak hanyalah aktiviti-aktiviti bio-elektrik yang melibatkan sekumpulan saraf yang dipertanggungjawabkan untuk melakukan tugas-tugas tertentu bagi membolehkan ia berfungsi dengan sempurna. Setiap hari 14 juta saraf yang membentuk otak ini berinteraksi dengan 16 juta saraf tubuh yang lain. Semua aktiviti yang kita lakukan dan kefahaman atau ilmu yang kita peroleh adalah natijah daripada aliran interaksi bio-elektrik yang tidak terbatas. Oleh itu, apabila seorang itu berzikir dengan mengulangi kalimat-kalimat Allah, seperti Subhanallah, beberapa kawasan otak yang terlibat menjadi aktif. Ini menyebabkan berlakunya satu aliran bio-elektrik di kawasan-kawasan saraf otak tersebut. Apabila zikir disebut berulang-ulang kali, aktiviti saraf ini menjadi bertambah aktif dan turut menambah tenaga bio-elektrik. Lama-kelamaan kumpulan saraf yang sangat aktif ini mempengaruhi kumpulan saraf yang lain untuk turut sama aktif. Dengan itu, otak menjadi aktif secara keseluruhan. Otak mula memahami perkara baru, melihat dari sudut perspektif berbeza dan semakin kreatif dan kritis, sedang sebelum berzikir otak tidak begini. Otak yang segar dan cergas secara tidak langsung mempengaruhi hati untuk melakukan kebaikan dan menerima kebenaran. Hasil kajian makmal yang dilakukan terhadap subjek ini dimuatkan dalam majalah Scientific American, keluaran Disember 1993. Satu kajian yang dilakukan di Universiti Washington dan ujian ini dilakukan melalui ujian imbasan PET yang mengukur kadar aktiviti otak manusia secara tidak sedar. Dalam kajian ini, sukarelawan diberikan satu senarai perkataan benda. Mereka dikehendaki membaca setiap perkataan tersebut satu persatu dan mengaitkan perkataan-perkataan dengan kata kerja yang berkaitan. Apabila sukarelawan melakukan tugas mereka, beberapa bahagian berbeza otak mempamerkan peningkatan aktiviti saraf, termasuk di bahagian depan otak dan korteks. Menariknya, apabila sukarelawan ini mengulangi senarai perkataan yang sama berulang-ulang kali, aktiviti saraf otak merebak pada kawasan lain dan mengaktifkan kawasan saraf lain. Apabila senarai perkataan baru diberikan kepada mereka, aktiviti saraf kembali meningkat di kawasan pertama. Ini sekali gus membuktikan secara saintifik bahawa perkataan yang diulang-ulang seperti perbuatan berzikir, terbukti meningkatkan kecergasan otak dan menambah kemampuannya. Oleh itu, saudara-saudaraku se-Islam, ketika saintis Barat baru menemui mukjizat ini, kita umat terpilih ini telah lama mengamalkannya dan menerima manfaatnya. Malang bagi mereka yang masih memandang enteng kepentingan berzikir dan mengabaikannya. Rujukan: Halaqah.Net

Too beautiful NOT to share this story with you

A story to live by...
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.


He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.


Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations..

Life Is a
Gift


Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat..

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who died
too early on this earth.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before
you complain about your children - Think of someone who
desires children but they're barren...

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before
you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or
sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

But
before you think of pointing the finger or condemning
another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still
around.



=========================

Banyak Bercakap Serlah Kelemahan

Banyak Bercakap Serlah Kelemahan


SESEORANG Muslim mesti memelihara lidahnya daripada menuturkan kata-kata
tidak berfaedah, percakapan kosong, mengumpat keji dan mengadu-domba.

Rasulullah SAW memberi banyak ingatan mengenai perkara itu dan antaranya,
sabda Baginda bermaksud: “Tidaklah dihumbankan muka manusia ke dalam
neraka itu sebagai hasil tuaian (jelek) lidahnya.” (Hadis riwayat
at-Tirmizi)

Rasulullah juga bersabda bermaksud: “Bukanlah dia seorang mukmin (jika)
dia suka menuduh, suka melaknat, bercakap kotor dan keji.” (Hadis riwayat
at-Tirmizi)

Pesan Rasulullah bermaksud: “Sesiapa yang banyak bercakap banyaklah
kesalahannya, sesiapa yang banyak kesalahannya banyaklah dosanya dan siapa
yang banyak dosanya, api nerakalah paling layak untuk dirinya.”
(Diriwayatkan oleh Baihaqi)

Imam Nawawi ketika membicarakan hal yang sama berkata, ketahuilah,
seseorang mukalaf itu sewajarnya menjaga lidahnya daripada sebarang
percakapan kecuali percakapan yang menghasilkan kebaikan.

Apabila bercakap dan berdiam diri adalah sama saja hasilnya, maka mengikut
sunnahnya adalah lebih baik berdiam diri.

Percakapan yang diharuskan mungkin membawa kepada yang haram atau makruh.

Rasulullah bersabda bermaksud: “Sesiapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan hari
kemudian, maka hendaklah dia mengucapkan perkataan yang baik dan kalau
tidak, hendaklah diam.” (Hadis riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim).

Hadis di atas membawa maksud bahawa seseorang yang beriman itu perlu
sentiasa mengawasi lidahnya dan apabila berkata, hanya kepada perkara yang
memberi kebaikan kepada dirinya dan orang lain.

Jika tidak dapat memberi sesuatu yang membawa kebaikan, maka adalah lebih
baik berdiam diri saja.

Rasulullah ditanya mengenai kelakuan yang paling banyak memasukkan
seseorang ke dalam syurga.

Jawab Baginda: “Takwa kepada Allah dan keindahan akhlak.”

Ketika Baginda ditanya apakah yang paling banyak memasukkan orang ke dalam
neraka? Baginda menjawab: “Kejahatan mulut dan kemaluan.”

Sabda Rasulullah SAW lagi bermaksud: “Sesiapa mengawal lidahnya (daripada
memperkatakan kehormatan orang), maka Allah akan menutup kecelaannya (hal
yang memalukan). Sesiapa yang menahan kemarahannya, Allah akan
melindunginya daripada seksa-Nya. Dan sesiapa yang meminta kelonggarannya
kepada Allah, maka Allah akan menerima permintaan kelonggarannya.”
(Hadis riwayat Ibnu Abib-Dunya).

Ibnu Abid-Dunya meriwayatkan, Rasulullah bersabda bermaksud: “Tidak akan
lurus iman seseorang hamba, sehingga lurus pula hatinya, dan tidak akan
lurus hatinya sehingga lurus pula lidahnya. Dan seorang hamba tidak akan
masuk syurga selagi tetangganya belum aman daripada kejahatannya.”

Begitulah pentingnya seseorang itu memelihara lidahnya daripada percakapan
yang buruk, keji dan tidak mendatangkan faedah.

Allah mengurniakan umatnya dengan sebaik-sebaiknya nikmat dan nikmat lidah
yang diberikan, hendaklah digunakan ke jalan yang diredai-Nya.

FAQ ( Soalan Yang Kerap di Tanya )

* Anda berader di stesen bas dan rakan anda ternampak sambil bertanya:
"Tunggu bas ke?"
Anda harus menjawab: "Taklah aku tengah tunggu
helikopter, lambat plak ari nie ye"

* Anda hendak pergi ke bilik mandi untuk mandi dan rakan sebilik anda bertanya:
"Ko nak mandi ke?"
Jawab : "Taklah aku nak pi main lelayang
kejap, ko nak join?"

* Anda sedang menulis surat dan rakan anda menegur:
"Aik? tulis surat nampak?"
Jawab : "Oh ye ke? aku tak prasan ah...tangan
aku bergerak sendiri"

* Anda sedang makan nasik dan orang tegur:
"Makan nasik?"
Jawab : " Mata ko buta ke per? Kan aku
tengah minum teh ais nie?"

* Anda baru pulang dari kerja dan jiran anda bertanyer:
"Baru balik dari keje?"
Jawab : "Taklah, saya dari rumah, nak pi
keje lah nie...opis saya dah pindah kat
rumah..dan rumah saya dah pindah kat opis"

* Anda sedang sibuk buat kerja dan rakan sepejabat menegur:
"Eh kau sibuk ke?"
Jawab : Takyah jawab, peratikan muker dia
pastu kompang siket pipi dia.

*Anda sedang menonton tv ceriter melayu, rakan anda datang lalu bertanyer:
"Eh citer melayu ke?"
Jawab : "Bukanlah, nie kan citer Otromen Taro
menentang Raksaser dari Planet X...ko
tunggu jap nanti otromen kuar".

Answer For A Jerk!!!

"Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

"Is this seat empty?"
"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

"So, wanna go back to my place?"
"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

"I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
"It's in the phone book."
"But I don't know your name."
"That's in the phone book too."

"What sign were you born under?"
"No Parking."

"I know how to please a woman."
"Then please leave me alone."

"Haven't we met before?"
"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the Mental Hospital."

"I want to give myself to you."
"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

"I can tell that you want me."
"Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave."

"Hey, baby, What's your sign?"
"Stop."

"Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

"May I see you pretty soon?"
"Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

"Your body is like a temple."
"Sorry, there are no services today."

"I'd go through anything for you."
"Good! Let's start with your bank account."

"I would go to the end of the world for you."
"Yes, but would you stay there?"


"Your place or mine?"
"Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

After hearing a pickup line:
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?"
say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken."

He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.

He: Do you wanna dance?
She: Yeah but not with you!
He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!

Q: Does beauty run in your family?
A: It obviously doesn't in yours!

Q: What's your name sexy?
A: Taken!

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
A: Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here.
A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

He: Your legs go clear up to your a**.
She: Most peoples' do!

Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

"You look like a dream."
Response: "Go back to sleep."

He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

"I can see forever in your eyes."
Response: "But all I can see is never in yours."

"I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."
Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk."

Upgrade boyfriend 5.0 to husband 1.0 - pentium8 version

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the
overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reply:

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.


Good Luck,
IT Support

Yo!

hello..

dah lama tak update blog ^_^

ke"busy"an melanda diriku ini...

hope you'll understand my situation

peace all